I don’t know about you, but sometimes when the new year rolls around, I feel excitement and dread. I can’t help but ponder what the upcoming year has in store. . Will it provide a smooth sailing year without surgeries for my son, or will it be a year of unrelenting struggles?
Having a medically complex child has forced me into a continual state of anticipation for many years, and for many reasons. For one, I can’t help but look forward and wonder, “will there be any medical emergencies this year?…. will we have a year of only medical appointments?…. will the annual trip to the surgeon warrant another planned surgery this year?” These thoughts and questions are inevitable, but if I acknowledge my concerns and anxiety, instead of ruminating over them, I can face and conquer them by giving them to God. I want to surrender my fears, and humble myself into knowing that I don’t have everything under control like I think I should. I want prayer to be the center of my world, by leaning on the One who knows me by every strand of hair on my head. If I’m being honest, this is such a hard thing to do sometimes, to completely release control, but yet, can be oh so very freeing.
Let’s face it, as parents we are faced with very hard situations and decisions that we are responsible for making for our children….”is this surgery necessary?…..should we seek a second opinion?…..was that the right decision?….will a seizure randomly strike again?…..have we left no stone unturned by researching all there is to learn?…..” There are never clear-cut answers to these questions, ever. But what I do know, is that I am learning to rely on God more and more each year, rather than my own understanding.
I am not much on making new year resolutions, simply for the fact that I am stubborn and I do not like putting pressure on myself by setting unrealistic goals that I won’t accomplish, so why set myself up for failure? Life happens and I have learned to roll with the punches in this special needs journey, Sure I could lose a few pounds, set up some exercise goals, be better with finances, clean my house more, and the list goes on at what I can do better. But these goals don’t fulfill my peace within to all of the unanswered questions.
So….
When I am faced with the question of not knowing what to do, I ask God for wisdom in making the right decision.
When I am faced with the fear of the unknown, I ask God to give me the courage to trust Him and His will.
When I am faced with despair, I ask God for peace in knowing that whatever may come, I always have HIs promise, and He will get me through the tough times.
In this new year of 2018, I want to live my story by remembering that God has given me Assurance of Guidance. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6.
May you have a year with the knowledge and belief of God’s Assurance of Guidance, filled with prayer and trust.
What will your story be for 2018?
Enjoy today.
God bless,
Lisa
